John Steinbeck, born in Salinas, California, in 1902, became one of the most important American writers of the 20th century. His work often focused on ordinary people under economic, social and emotional pressure, especially workers, migrants, farmers and families struggling through the Great Depression. His major books include Of Mice and Men, The Grapes of Wrath, Cannery Row, East of Eden and Travels with Charley. Steinbeck received the 1962 Nobel Prize in Literature for his “realistic and imaginative writings” marked by sympathetic humour and social perception.
“Try to understand each other.”
— John Steinbeck
The line is often quoted from a fuller: “Try to understand men, if you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and nearly always leads to love.” It is commonly linked to Steinbeck’s 1938 journal entry around Of Mice and Men, though quote databases and literary sites vary in how they cite the exact source.
Meaning of the Quote
Steinbeck’s quote is simple, but not soft. “Try to understand each other” is not the same as “agree with everyone.” It asks for something harder: to look beyond anger, labels, class, fear, prejudice and first impressions long enough to see another person’s reality.
The deeper lesson is that understanding often comes before kindness. Steinbeck’s fiction repeatedly shows people who are poor, lonely, frightened, flawed or trapped by circumstances. He does not ask readers to excuse every action, but he does ask them to look closely enough to recognise humanity.
In everyday life, this quote becomes a discipline. Before judging a colleague, partner, friend, parent, stranger or rival, ask what pressure they may be carrying, what history shaped them, and what fear may be driving their behaviour. Understanding does not erase accountability, but it can prevent cruelty.
Why This Quote Resonates
This quote feels especially relevant today because public life is often shaped by speed, outrage and instant judgement. Social media encourages quick reactions, workplaces are under pressure, and people often meet each other through fragments: a post, a headline, a mistake, a political view, a tone in a meeting.
It also matters in workplaces where engagement and trust are fragile. Gallup’s State of the , with low engagement estimated to cost the world economy about $10 trillion in lost productivity.
Steinbeck’s message offers a human correction. Whether the issue is team conflict, social division, family tension or online hostility, the first step is often not a better argument. It is a better attempt to understand what the other person is living through.
“Knowing a man well never leads to hate and nearly always leads to love.”
— John Steinbeck
This line comes from the same fuller passage and gives the primary quote its emotional force. Steinbeck is not saying knowledge always leads to approval. He is saying that deeper knowledge often weakens hatred because hatred depends on distance, simplification and refusal to see complexity.
Together, both quotes create a powerful life lesson. “Try to understand each other” is the method. “Knowing a man well…” is the result. When people understand more, they may still disagree, but they become less likely to dehumanise.
How You Can Implement This
- Listen before answering: In a difficult conversation, repeat what the other person means before defending your own view.
- Ask one deeper question: Replace “Why are you like this?” with “What made you see it this way?”
- Separate behaviour from identity: Criticise the action if needed, but avoid reducing the person to one mistake, mood or opinion.
- Look for context: Before judging someone’s reaction, consider pressure, background, timing, fear, workload or past experience.
- Slow down online judgement: Before replying angrily to a post or comment, ask whether you are reacting to a person or to a simplified version of them.
- Practise empathy with boundaries: Try to understand people, but do not use empathy as an excuse to accept disrespect, harm or repeated bad behaviour.
“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”
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This line from East of Eden fits the spirit of Steinbeck’s work: human beings are imperfect, but still capable of goodness. His call to “try to understand each other” is not sentimental. It is one of the hardest and most necessary forms of moral discipline — the decision to see people fully before deciding what they are worth.
